GAME CHANGER

In the morning, every morning, I wonder what happened
Were there some rules I didn't know about so inadvertently
ran afoul of
It must have been something huge, I can't help thinking
To cause such a cataclysmic upheaval in our lives, their lives,
all our lives

And no one to consult about this, that's the real kicker - one
of the most frustrating things
There's only one other person, and she's significant as she's
run afoul of these same invisible, arbitrary rules
Or whatever they are - I really don't know, I swear
But she has been just as effectively banned, restricted, left out
Of the lives of the others - those who would normally make up
the rest of our lives

Feeling foolish, I've begun researching sites on the internet—in the
old days I would have spent hours at the library—
Poring over articles, essays, doctor's opinions—on the topic of
estrangement—adult children who estrange themselves
from their parents —I can hardly write it down, it seems so alien
I wonder who I'm talking about and then it washes over me anew
As it does at least a half dozen times each day: it's us, it's our family
We're estranged from our daughter and her family, and we have
not the slightest reason why

From everything I read, I know I must acknowledge that this is
not something that she has done lightly
I do realize that; she has been even longer away from her sister,
her one-time closest best friend
The advice is not only to acknowledge the fact of it, but to take
full responsibility for her pain
If I want her back in my life -- at first this seemed beyond the pale
After all, if I don't know what I've done wrong, how to perform
the mea culpa

Now? I don't care. It's enough that she's hurting as badly as she is
I will beg her forgiveness, and ask what I can do to relieve her pain
I don't know about the other people involved in this mess, but I
do know that I am ready to throw myself on her mercy
And do whatever it will take to end this - for me it, the agony is
too much, the game is over.