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"Poetry is the evidence of life. If your life is burning well, poetry is just the ash." Leonard Cohen

Sunday, April 18, 2010

TO LET GO YOUR SOUL 04.18.10 prompt "to_________"

To Let Go Your Soul

It has been five years now
And still I fight the idea
That you know longer breathe

I go to where you lie some
Days and ask your stone—
Why and how, and all of it

Not really expecting
You to answer but needing
You to hear me all the same

Just when I think I am done
With being angry and ready
To get on with letting you go

I will find myself slipping
Dangerously near the edge
Of the abyss—you know the one

And I expect to find you
Rushing towards me, reaching
Out to keep me from plunging

Down, and down, and down
And it’s only my red-hot anger
That keeps me pulled back

And sometimes almost flips
Me back the other way – you
Know, to that unhealthy place

And I guess I half-expect
To find you guarding
The gate to crazy land too

But just before I trip the light
Fantastic up those stairs to
Mania, I picture your sad eyes

And come back down with a thud
So I guess you are still doing
Your job after a fashion

All the same, I wish I knew
Why you felt you had to leave
Why you could not reach out

When you made it clear
It was what you expected
Of me, of any of us that came

To you for advice, for counsel
For your wisdom, of which you
Seemed to have uncharted depths

For that as much as anything
Has been the ultimate
Betrayal— that you would

Take the out that you
Explicitly forbid any of us
To consider, even in passing

I try; I do, to come to peace
With your leaving me
But you know how I am

And abandonment
Is a huge issue for me;
Yours has been by far

The worst – so it may
Take the rest of my life
For me to come to terms

With it, and even then
I may not, might just
Keep looking for your

Energy particles
In the hereafter
Or wherever...

Five years seems
Like a long time but
It’s really not, I guess

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